capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
