Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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