i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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