So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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