i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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