I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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