he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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