So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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