never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize