I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
