When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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