oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
