Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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