i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
