my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
