I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
