I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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