you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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