chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
