Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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