Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
