You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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