im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
