Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
