I need help removing her.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
