i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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