I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
