we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
