i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
