he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
