Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
