Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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