He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
