Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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