she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize