She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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