I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
