Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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