What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so much tequila, so little girl.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
