He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
