so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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