Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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