Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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