If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
