If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
