Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
