I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
