I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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