I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
