i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize