what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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