If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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