you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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