He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
