And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
