his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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