I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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