I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
