It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
